Accepting That I Might Not Be Mother of the Year

I might want to be Mother of the Year - but since I am not a professional at this - that probably won't happen.

This past week my oldest turned 10 - the big double digits. A complete decade old. He was so excited. We sent him a basket with balloons to school - there were enough snack for him to share with his class and then to have enough to share with his brothers and sister here at home.

He did great - getting all his homework done - which was even harder on this particular day - since there was the promise of cake, ice cream and presents.

While he was opening his toys - I was doing a run through of the house - basically grabbing a ton of crap that everyone else had left out and putting it up. The more crap I picked up - the angrier I was getting.

There is absolutely no way that we can keep a clean house with 6 people living here - unless everyone is on the same page.

If you get something out - put it up.

I was putting the boys shoes up in their room when I saw it. It was a disaster - there were toys, trash, clothes, dirty clothes, hangers, and school work everywhere.

I wish now that I had taken a picture of it.

I stood there staring at it for what seemed like forever...finally blew my top. I called all 3 boys into the bedroom and made them clean it up on the spot.

I took a broom and swept everything into this massive pile of filth and made them wade through it putting everything where it goes and the trash - in the trash.

All the while my poor birthday boy is acting so put out. But I couldn't stop - I might have been able to let it go - but there was an entire set of 500 Lego's on the floor that I had bought for my youngest boys birthday not 10 days ago. I couldn't stand the thought of them opening the set that I bought for 10 year old too.

Towards the end of the great clean-up - I got really weepy - I hate it -- but I am such a girl. I just kept thinking about when I was little.

My Mother never made a big deal about birthdays - we were lucky if she remembered to say something about it to us on the morning of.

I want my kids to know that I make an effort to insure that they never feel that way - that there are children out there this very minute that feel that way because they don't have anyone to celebrate them.

I told them about all of this - then they got a little weepy too. I don't know if this was the best idea that I have ever had - but I just wanted them to understand the depth of my disappointment.

After they finally got it cleaned up - Hubby ran and got Chinese ( this seems to be our kind of birthday food) and we ate cake and ice cream first - since we had wasted so much time with the bedroom.

This was not a good idea either as the cake was so good that no one really wanted to eat real food after that.

Looking back now - almost week later - I still have some Mommy guilt - but I know that I would do it all over again.

I want my children to respect the things that they have - the effort that goes into working for the things that they have and a sense of pride in their home.

Would you have let it go?